Earlier this week I was interviewed by a potential client to collaborate with her on a new book. She asked a few questions about my writing and then she asked me about writing First Things First with Kurt and Brenda Warner.

I know what people are expecting. They’re expecting me to give them some dirty little secret about the Warners (I didn’t learn any) or some insider knowledge into Kurt’s job (Kurt never once discussed football strategy with me, not too surprising if you know me well), or maybe some really cool fan moment where I touched his Super Bowl ring (hard to get excited about that when his kids wear it for dress-up). So I shared with her the same two stories that I tell anyone who asks about my time with the Warners.

The first story about Jesse Jo, I blogged about yesterday. If you haven’t seen the video, go there now, I’ll wait.

But today I promised to share the second story. This is my single favorite memory from being at the Warner’s house. I think my answer surprised the client. It wasn’t what she expected me to say in the middle of an interview to write her book. But it is what it is, and it’s my favorite memory.

It was a late Sunday afternoon and it had been a busy day. The family had been to church and lunch followed by a photo shoot for the cover of the book. If you’ve ever had your picture taken in a professional shoot, think of all the craziness of that moment (eyes open, hair combed, clothes  tucked in) and then think what it’s like for the Warners to do that with seven kids! By the time the shoot was done, everyone was exhausted, me included!

When it was all over, Brenda sat at the kitchen table sorting through old photos for the inside of the book with my editor Carol Traver. The older kids had scattered to various rooms in the house and the younger ones were hanging out in the kitchen where I was trying to ask Kurt a few last questions before he left town. He literally had his bags in his hands but he was so generous with his time just to make sure I had everything I needed before he left to catch his flight as we weren’t sure whether or not I’d still be there when he got back.

Sierra, (pictured above) the youngest of the Warners three-year-old twin daughters, had missed her nap because of the shoot and wanted me to hold her. So I picked her up and bounced her on my hip while I juggled my notepad, recorder, and Kurt’s answers to my questions. While Kurt and I finished the conversation, Sierra fell asleep with her head on my shoulder.

After Kurt left, I sat down in a stuffed chair in their kitchen and just held that beautiful sleeping girl as the activity of the house went on around us. Soon Sienna, her older twin sister saw us and came over. She held out her arms and I half lifted and she half climbed into my lap and put her head on my other shoulder. She fell asleep, too.

While there are lots of perks to my job, I have to say sitting in that kitchen with those two precious girls asleep on my chest was one of my all-time highs. I know its not what most people want to hear. It has nothing to do with the story I was writing. It has nothing to do with celebrity, status, or sports. And yet it has everything to do with all of that.

The story was about Kurt and Brenda as parents. And parents know that moments like this are replicated thousands of times, in millions of homes around the world. And that’s what is so precious about that moment – - it’s fleeting. You can’t capture it and repeat it at will. It only happens when it happens and then it’s gone.  My son is now almost 15 and I can barely ruffle his hair while he’s sleeping without him getting irritated that I am touching him too much, but I still remember what it was like to hold him as a baby his warm little head snuggled under my chin.

If you have children in your life who still love to fall asleep in your arms, cherish those moments because I promise you they won’t last long. But the good news is that if you take the time to do it now, the memories of those moments will last, just like mine from that day in the Warner’s kitchen.

What’s your favorite child-sleeping story?

~Jennifer

After helping Kurt and Brenda Warner write their book, “First Things First,” friends and family members would ask me questions about the Warners like, “What are they really like?” “What was the most exciting thing you did while you were there?” “And is Brenda as hot in person as she was on TV at the Super Bowl?”

I spent nearly six days with the couple and their children and feel like I have a really good sense of who they are, unfortunately it’s not always what people want to hear.

Because I say, “They’re even better in person than the best things you’ve heard about them.” There was a moment when Kurt talked about how much he loves his wife and his family that made me want to get up and leave so I could go home and love my family that way.  To hear Brenda talk about serving others made me want to do find causes I could commit to. “And yes,” I would tell them, “Brenda is very attractive in person.” “Yes, she’s changed her looks a lot since St. Louis,” and “No, she hasn’t had any more work done than I have,” (and mine comes out of a bottle).

But the one thing that seems to surprise questioners the most is my answer to “What was the most memorable thing you did while you were there?”

I think people are expecting me to say that I went to the Cardinals home field and threw the ball around with Kurt where I learned some cool insider information to help their fantasy football team. (I didn’t.) Or maybe that Brenda was hard to work with (she wasn’t she was incredible to work with–she’s extremely intelligent), or perhaps that when I got lost roaming in their mansion I accidentally came across the room where they have stacks of money, gold, and jewels. (While they have a very nice house–with seven kids to fill it–it hardly seemed like a mansion).

My answer to the question of what impressed me most while I was at their house is something completely unexpected. Even to me…

It was their kids.

The Warners have seven amazing kids. I could tell you lots of stories about them but I find there are two stories that I keep telling over and over again. The second story I’ll share in a blog post tomorrow, but the first story is about their oldest daughter Jesse Jo.

Jesse Jo is smart and beautiful (one reporter described her as “smoking hot” and I wouldn’t disagree). She is also a very talented and accomplished musician and vocalist. At one point in the interview I asked this poised seventeen-year-old about what she was going to study the following year when she went away to college at NYU. I knew she was going to study music so I assumed her major would be vocal performance. Here’s what she said:

Jesse: I could go and pursue that in college, but I knew that they [her parents Kurt and Brenda] taught us was that we were created to give back and to do something more, so that’s why I want to study music therapy.

Me: I just assumed that if you sing, you would want to be on American Idol or to be a celebrity or whatever, and yet you don’t? You want to serve other people through music therapy? You could use music to draw attention to yourself; instead, you want to use it to serve others?

Jesse: And I thought about that. I was like, cool, I want to go on American Idol and be famous, but then I go on a Disney trip [with terminal children], or I go on a hospital visit with my parents or I do something like that, and I realize that I couldn’t just do something to try and further my career.  I feel like we’ve all been given these gifts, and again, it sounds really cliché, but we have a purpose and it’s so much bigger than what we think it is and so, I have such a heart for kids with special needs, that I really want to work with kids with special needs when I grow up. So I prayed about it a lot and didn’t really know what to do. Like, what can you do with special needs kids and, like, the piano? But then I just read a lot about music therapy and really feel like that’s something I want to pursue, just to be able to combine everything and use my gifts.

Wow! Did I mention she was seventeen?

She’s such an incredible and poised young woman who could lead a life of ease and privilege if she wanted and her parents agreed to fund it, instead she’s trying to change the world for the least of these. As a recent class assignment she was asked to define what Music Therapy was and she made this video.

Watch this video as proof of what an amazing young woman Jesse is, but also what incredible parents Kurt and Brenda are.

So when people want to know what impressed me the most, was it their house, or cars, or celebrity status, I say, “No, it was their kids.” I only spent six days with their family but I miss their kids like they’d grown up next door to me for fifteen years.  I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to see their family for who they really are, not for whatever the blogs and tabloids might say about them.

It’s my hope and prayer that my son will be like Jesse Jo and find ways to use his gifts and talents to serve a larger purpose in life. And I hope as a parent I’ll one day have this kind of proof of a job well done.

So how are you doing? Do you have proof that you’re an awesome parent? Tell me about it in the comments below.

~Jennifer

PS – This automatically imports to Facebook so if the pictures or video are missing check out the original link here.

This week, a new book was released called “First Things First” by Kurt and Brenda Warner. I was fortunate enough to collaborate with them on the book.

It all happened very quickly. On a Thursday night in February, I got a call from my publisher asking if I thought I could write a book in a month. I told her it depended on the topic but I had previously done one in six weeks or so a few years back. Then she told me it would be with Kurt Warner and his wife Brenda. After five or seven more phone calls that night, including one with the Warners, I found out the next day that I was chosen to work with them on the book. Four days later I left for a week in Phoenix and spent six days interviewing the Warners and their kids. I returned to Atlanta and took the 569 pages of transcripts and in nineteen days helped them turn their words into a book.

We all know that what you hear in the media isn’t always the truth–especially when it comes to celebrities. This was also true in the case of the Warners–they’re even better in person than the media makes them out to be.

Here’s a video from Greta’s show that gives you a good feel for the book and for the couple.

Chances are you may think you know Kurt’s story, but you probably don’t know the true story. And most people have no idea of Brenda’s story which in many ways is more inspiring than Kurt’s. The Warners are really terrific parents and very intentional about the way they parent. And their kids? They’re pretty exceptional too.

So that’s my secret. When I disappeared earlier this spring, I was working on this book.

~Jennifer